Wednesday, December 12, 2007

"I'm a librarian for the Santa Ana Public Library."

That is what my evil twin used to answer when asked where she worked. In her youth, she wasn't comfortable with the stereotypes and line of questioning that followed the truth. It's amazing the difference a few decades can make. She no longer cares so much about what other people think. Our mom Sparky would have asked "Who gives a rat's ****?" and she had the right idea. Years ago, that twin actually carried on this librarian hoax for 6 months with what was to become a most life changing relationship. It was a case of "when two personalities meet and there is a reaction, both are transformed". Having actually spent a lot of time in the Santa Ana Public Library, it was an easy con to pull off.  She's always been a fan of librarians who Stewart Brand referred to as subversive because they share all kinds of information. Their image is every bit as inaccurate as the one of flight attendants.

Speaking of books, I'm always hauling a few around. Since I have to hoist my own bag sometimes multiple times a day, they contribute to a heavy load. Passing through O'Hare in the concourse between terminals, I saw this ad which I had to photograph. It reminded me of that stereotype of librarians which is so wrong.  Seems like a cool product and I know Amazon makes a similar product called the Kindle which they have advertised on my blog. It is actually possible to own one of these devices and carry 200 books and still not have to check your bag! Amazing!  You know the technology will only improve. You can also subscribe to several newspapers and access all the information on this machine. I must admit I like the feel of a real newspaper or book but as these devices become closer to replicating an actual book or paper, it seems like they may change the face of publishing. 

Monday, December 03, 2007

Legacy Airlines Flight Attendants Way Hotter Than Virgin American Super Models!

Richard Branson, my dander is fired up! So you hired supermodels for an inflight fashion show. What a PR gimmick! Many non-airline bloggers are so impressed dissing the "legacy carriers" for their lack of sex appeal. I've seen your billboards in London and Sydney that compare me and my fellow flight attendants to grandmas! You would have an age discrimination lawsuit if you tried that one in this country. There are plenty of HOT babes that are actually providing service and security in our aisles. This picture is proof! What do you know? I'm sure you only fly on Virgin , a private jet or one of your hot air balloons.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

HELP!!! Hollywood Calls On A Former Flight Attendant's Classroom!

Paramount Pictures is about to release a new film based on the best selling novel, "The Kiterunner" by  Khaled Hosseini.  They are holding a classroom competition which requires adding your email to join the online club.  A friend of this blog (educator, artist and former flight attendant)  is currently the team captain in the #1 spot.  The "Showgirl Demi" photo on the left sidebar is her contribution and it would be much appreciated if any of you readers would join her club and help keep her classroom in the top spot!  Click on the link at the top of this blog (just above the date Nov 17) that says "Reading Runners" and you can help out this Las Vegas classroom.   If you would like to read this outstanding novel, it is available from the Amazon link on the sidebar. 

Thank you and GO READING RUNNERS!!!
Update on 1-1-09 
My friend has a new website and her project revenues are donated to help save Orangutans. She has talent and is working to benefit a great cause. I have replaced the club website with her personal one of  Check it out!

Friday, November 02, 2007

Airplane Flashbacks: "You have something on your nose."

Revealed here is a self portrait that leaves nothing to the imagination. It is a disgusting vision, that is certain. You may wonder why a woman would want to project such an image and how she has been able to maintain employment when you learn she has been seen in uniform wearing a similar decoration on her nose.

It is actually a therapeutic technique I have developed known as "Booger Therapy". I have used this effectively with males of all ages who are fearsome fliers. The booger is actually a piece of lime. Sometimes, I'll fall back on it out of boredom (mine or passengers) because it always causes somewhat of an uproar. Those that get the biggest kick out of this are boys in the age range of 5 to 12. I'll show them the trick and let them spring it on the unsuspecting.

There was once a precocious boy of about 10, traveling with his mother in first class to Maui. He was not having a good flight,so I showed him the joke.  I asked the boy if he was going to try it on his mother. His reply "It would be a lot funnier if you did it." I thought the better of it but he would not let up. Toward the end of the flight I relented and when they left the mother said it was the best flight she ever had because her son had such a fun time.
DISCLAIMER: If any of my readers are probationary flight attendants, I would wait until you are on the line for 6 months before you attempt it because it is certainly not management sanctioned.

Over many years, I have conducted a study using the lime booger. Flight attendants, who are not lime-booger savvy will say "You have something on your nose" to warn you not to walk out in the aisle. When I have visited the cockpit, male pilots will say NOTHING! Female pilots will usually warn me using the subtle "something on the nose" approach but if all the pilots are men, not a word! I have asked them the reason and they usually clam up. Never have been able to understand the reason for this.

Update as of June 2011... Booger therapy does not convey a professional image of authority that is needed in today's world so it was grounded some time ago. You may see it reappear in some earthbound restaurant locations.

Thursday, November 01, 2007


In the trading game of oneredpaperclip, which became an internet sensation, Hobbs lost out to a small Canadian town of Kipling. There is no doubt in my mind that the folks of Hobbs would have rallied in some kind of similiar competition had the backstory been public knowledge. When the offer was first presented to Kyle, he did not immediately respond so I contacted Stone Phillips of NBC, who had interviewed Kyle about the game. It was then that I discovered the Hobbs house was one of several offers and Kyle was taking time attempting to sort out everything. A lot of people became inspired by the simple and fun story. Now Kyle is the author of a book and is on tour. I am hopeful he will visit our town and see what he passed up!

Friday, July 13, 2007

The Offer: One Two Bedroom House for One Movie Role

Greetings from Hobbs, New Mexico, site of the Lea County Cowboy Museum
and your new home, if you accept my offer...Today, the city of Hobbs
unveiled the city's new slogan, "It All Happens Here," so apparently,
it does all happen here.

In trade for "One Movie Role", you will receive the free and clear deed
to "One 2 Bedroom House" in Hobbs, New Mexico.

The house, which is undergoing renovation in the heart of Hobbs, is on
S. Dalmont St. It's a diamond (not quite yet out of the rough) that is
only 15 minutes from Lea County Airport served by Mesa Airlines. Lea
County Airport will begin complete renovation in October of this year.

The people here are Hobbs greatest asset. Having traveled worldwide in
my job as a flight attendant, I can honestly say I have not encountered
a kinder, more welcoming and civic-minded group of folks than the

I acquired "One 2 Bedroom House" when I was looking for an affordable
yet desirable community in which to relocate. The airline I have been
employed by for 21 years, declared bankruptcy and my pension was lost.

Recently having been inspired by a library book; 'Life 2.0' by Rich
Karlgaard, I was seeking a community that matched the parameters
mentioned by the author but undiscovered by most of the world. Hobbs is
clearly a growing community with strong employment and in the midst of
a street beautification project 2 blocks from "One 2 bedroom House".

An aficionado of Ebay, I discovered the house and community when it was
listed for sale by a bail bondsman from Carlsbad, New Mexico. I talked
to him about the circumstance since I was not entirely comfortable with
the situation. He allayed my fears and as the winning bidder, my
friends now call me the land baroness. They have suggested I form an
alliance with Donald Trump.

As a subscriber to the local newspaper, the Hobbs News Sun, I read of
the community's efforts to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina. I
became acquainted with one of the community's volunteers, who
generously shared her contacts with me and put me in touch with other
local citizens who have been so helpful, even though I am a complete

Although I am emotionally attached to this community, my airline has
now emerged from bankruptcy and since I still enjoy my job, the timing
for my relocation is no longer imminent. While on a layover in Sydney,
Australia, I learned of Kyle MacDonald and his creative trading of "One
Red Paperclip" so I considered the possibility of my house in Hobbs
fulfilling Kyle MacDonald's ultimate quest, should the right trade be

"One Movie Role" will go to a deserving young woman (who happens to be
my daughter) named Jillian "Jillz" Trevors. Since at least the age of
5, she has declared her intention to have a life on the silver screen.
She has performed and taken various classes for the last 12 years. As
her mother, I have expressed concerns about the down side to this dream
but it is clearly her passion. I trust her level of maturity and have
heard how tough it is to get a break in the movie business.

Acceptance of this offer will rescue "Jillz" from relocation (when not
at school) to Hobbs. Her other true love, besides acting, is for Julian
"Julz". They were high school sweethearts and now attend college
together in Santa Barbara. Julz' only passion greater than his love of
Jillz, is for surfing and Hobbs is a long way from the ocean.

Just for clarification, the name Demi Kutcher is an identity I used for
an Academy Awards themed party. Everyone was supposed to impersonate a
celebrity and I chose Demi since passengers sometimes tell me I bear a
striking resemblance to Demi Moore. It could be that the lights were
low or the comments motivated in an effort to receive a free drink.
Just for the record, I am a HUGE fan of Corbin Bernsen.

Thursday, June 28, 2007

The Saga, Part 2: The Layover in Sydney That Resulted In An Obsession With A Small Metal Office Supply

Here is a picture taken out the window of Door 2R of a 747-400 by flight attendant Robert Gallant of beautiful Sydney, one of the world's grand cities.

About a year and a half ago, I was in a hotel room in Sydney. It was early morning and I turned on the television and was watching the Australian version of the Today show. Kyle MacDonald was being interviewed and spoke of his intention to trade a red paperclip for bigger and better things until he eventually traded up to a house. His first trade was for a fish pen and at the time of the interview, he was up to a snowmobile. It occured to me that I could fulfill his dream. I started following his blog, and became hooked by the sheer fun of the crazy idea. There were lots of skeptics about Kyle's ability to accomplish the task. I was never one of them and was poised to offer up my Ebay house in Hobbs, NM if the right trade was offered. When I heard about a movie role, paid and credited complete with a SAG card; I knew it was something worth consideration. In spite of using a movie star alias, I personally do not aspire to such fame. My daughter has more talent and ambition in that area but when I presented the idea to her, she thought it might be percieved as paying for a role and she was skeptical. When we had a conversation with Kyle, she had a change of heart. He told us he wanted to make sure whoever got the role had a sincere interest. He announced that he wanted to complete the trade within one year. So 2 weeks before that year was up, I made the following offer which you can read in the next post.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The Saga, Part 1: "How Did You End Up In Hobbs?"

This is the question I am asked everytime I meet someone new. The answer is that I bought a house on Ebay that was located here. A listing was posted by a bailbondsman from Carlsbad and having never heard of an entire house for sale for $27,500, it seemed like a bargain. I searched on the internet and found that there were plans for a casino and racetrack and I decided to go for it and put in my bid. It was 2 years ago when I first drove to Hobbs to inspect my purchase. A tiny bit of buyer's remorse sat in as I stepped through a missing window and first toured the home. That remorse faded away and I've met the most welcoming group of people that live in this town. Even so, at one point, I thought I may have gotten in over my head since there are a lot of needed repairs and not as much available time as I would like to devote to the project. A opportunity nearly changed all that...

Monday, June 04, 2007


Flying out of Chicago (ORD) as a reserve, sometime in the early 80's, I was on a 727 working a Coach aisle position to Omaha, Nebraska. We served meals on domestic flights in those days and the service was finished. I was securing the galley in preparation for landing. A call light illuminates and I make my way to seat 15D where a gentleman asks me "Do you have a Forbes magazine?" (Before it was determined that a lot of jet fuel could be saved by removing them due to the weight, we used to have a selection of magazines.) I grabbed a Forbes and returned to the passenger. He said "Look at the cover". I asked "What about the cover?" Pictured was Bill Gates. "Look at Mr. 15C". In 15C, was a sleeping Bill Gates with his mouth wide open and body sprawled, contorted in the space. I could not contain myself and broke into a gut wrenching laugh along with everyone around. Mr. Gates slept soundly through the commotion. Mr. 15C said "Just wanted to see the look on your face!". I asked him why they were flying Coach and he told me it was the company policy and they always flew coach.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

CALLING ALL PAST, PRESENT & FUTURE MARATHONERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD! Impersonate Elvis or Get Hitched or just Groove to the Blue Man Group!

DECEMBER 2, 2007 is the date for the next Las Vegas Marathon which means it's time to get off our bums and get the lead out! If you've ever wanted to run a marathon or if you've run several, the Vegas one is different. No matter where you live,if you start now, just follow a training plan and you can do it. There's now a half and a full to suit your preference. Only runners are allowed on the famous Vegas strip that morning and it is a wild & crazy party you won't have a hangover from!

It's a good thing to join a group because once a week, you can do a long run with coaching, in preparation for the big day. If you're local, you can join the Las Vegas Roadrunners who meet on Sunday mornings at the strip mall at the corner of Stephanie & American Pacific. Pictured above are a just a few of the people you can meet. Photos from left to right and top to bottom are: Dr. Hill, the medical director;Pam Hall, LV track club newsletter editor;Shelley Hovaniec and Lil' Bit (who will do the shorter training runs);Betty Cook, mega-athlete; Amanda Wing, moved from Maine and now training for her 2ND marathon;Reverend Bill Peterson,age 64 marathoner who did the marriage ceremony at mile 5 in 2005 and Demi (she told him if she ever finds the man of her dreams who can go the distance, wants to get married at the marathon); Sista Social, glamorous runner who embodies the spirit of LV(check out those medals!)

As the "rockstar"leader of the pack, Tim Kelly (bottom photo) says "We are not just a bunch of skinny whippets. We come in all shapes and sizes". Where can you experience this? Only in Vegas,baby!

Thursday, May 17, 2007

Airplane Flashbacks: Hulk Hogan Bubblebath

In the good ole' days of aviation, before blogs, cellphones and a flight attendant's need to be an adept Kung Fu Fighter, I was boarding a flight from PHL to LAX. It was a 767 and I was the greeter and it was my job to create a welcoming impression and direct passengers to their seats. Life was much simpler then. There may have been a few problems to diffuse or an occasional medical issue to deal with but it was a more carefree time. It may have been March or thereabouts.

That holiday season (before Xmas was politically incorrect), I found the coolest present to give my girlfriends at Sav-on Drug Store in SoCal. On a display shelf with bronzed biceps and Wrestlemania belt was a plastic replica of Hulk Hogan containing bubble bath. Wouldn't have been happier with a gold Oscar! Swooped up several and kept one for myself.

Back to Philadelphia and the agent is almost ready to shut the door. A final passenger is sprinting up the jetway. My mouth falls open. Can it be? Hulk Hogan?
Yes! Clad in Snakeskin pants, a headband, and straight from Wrestlemania.

Let's get something straight here. I have met a lot of celebrities and most of the time, to respect their right to have some normalcy in their life, I treat them with no special deference except to protect their privacy and keep them from unwanted attention.

I open my mouth and say "Hulk!!! I just gave your bubblebath to all my girlfriends!
He replied, "Bubblebath? I didn't know I had bubblebath. I have sheets and underwear but I didn't know about the bubblebath."

We take off and I'm working first class aisle. Services are finished. It is a late night flight. I had just perfected a practical joke I call "the cup trick". I would place a plastic glass under my armpit and crunch it while twisting my neck. Kids loved it but it wouldn't work in today's environment! Anyway, Hulk enters the lavatory and I don't know what possessed me but...when he comes out, I am poised with my cup and ask him "You're an athlete. Do you know any good exercises for stiff necks? I crunch the cup while twisting my neck and then bust out laughing. He calmly says in his deep voice "You are too much" and takes his seat. He is definitely a good sport and made my plastic bubblebath even more valuable to me!

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

1971 Airstream Sovereign Land Yacht (International Model) Docks in Hobbs!

As a child, my parents had friends who caravanned the world in their Airstream. Giant cranes would actually lift the trailer aboard ships and the couple would travel with other Airstreamer's to exotic locations all over the world. Their slide shows sparked my personal desire to travel internationally. While I've been privileged to do so in 4 and 5 star hotels (one of my great airline benefits), I have always loved Airstreams. My Hobbs house is still a work in progress, so thanks again to the power of Ebay and my vision board, this well-traveled model is now at home and my home in Hobbs. This particular trailer has quite a history and could write a book if it were human.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

We will miss you, Richard Jeni!

Depression claimed the life of Richard Jeni on March 10th.

A memorial fund has been started on his website @

Thank you Richard, for all the memorable moments, great comedy and making your O.C. "groupies" feel so special. We love you and will never forget you.

Friday, February 09, 2007


Here you see a picture of my favorite car of all time, my Dodge K car.I made the decision to buy it and get rid of a late model Honda Accord (and the payments that went with it) in order to help lower my expenses. It had low miles and made it possible for me to get in a better financial position. The ownership of it turned into somewhat of a social experiment for me. It is not just a stereotype that Californians place a lot of value on the type of car one drives. My daughter would request I drop her on the corner, rather than in front of her school and I grew to love the challenge of visiting a friend in a posh "OC' neighborhood and getting out of this beauty!

One really fun evening was at the Improv in Irvine. My friend LR and I went to see the comedian Richard Jeni, right after I bought the car. He is a regular customer at my airline and my friend has volunteered as a hostess when he does comedy benefits in LA. After his show, he asked if we would give him a ride to where he was staying. Excusing myself to visit the ladie's room, I took the picture you see here (above), which was an 8x10 off the Improv wall and ran to my car and taped it on the rear window of the K car. I ran back into the Improv and said I would drive him and then drop LR back to her car. We are walking and he asks "What kind of a car are we looking for?" I said it was a specialty celebrity limo. LR had not yet seen my "new" car, either. We arrive and I announce "Here it is!" LR yells "It's a "June Cleaver" car and Richard, your face is already in it!" It was known ever after as "The RICHARDJENIMOBILE!" It is no coincidence that one of my favorite songs is the BareNaked Ladies "If I had a Million Dollars". The lyrics say "If I had a million dollars, I'd buy you a Dodge K Car!" At the time I didn't really realize how fortunate I was that I already had one, even if I didn't have a million dollars.


Both Warren & Demi used to own properties in Laguna Beach, CA. They weren't exactly neighbors but Demi heard Mr. Buffet decided to sell his property. She was having a little remorse for having done the same but took some comfort in this tycoon's proclamation that the timing was right to do so. When asked why this man who could afford to live anywhere chose Omaha as his base of operations, he replied that there in other areas, there was "Over stimulation". He said in New York City, for example, he would get 15 great ideas proposed to him by noon. "All you need is one great idea in a year" and that's why Omaha suits him. I knew exactly what he meant and feel it is easier to focus on what is meaningful when there is less hustle-bustle.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007


The decision has been made. After a fun-filled road trip, Demi has decided to leave Vegas behind and explore the opportunities to be found in the Land of Enchantment! After visiting the Lea County museum, she bought a copy of a book "The Grandma Hobbs Affair , Remembering the Love Affair Between A Little Old Lady and Her City." It put her over the top since she is also in love with the place and eventually may be a little old lady there. The book speaks of how Grandma Hobbs loved the "boomtown" of Hobbs and could see the future and believed it would yield much opportunity. Demi feels the same way and wants to be a part of the upcoming action.

Saturday, January 27, 2007


Pictured here is Joyce of the Zia Park Casino & Racetrack in Hobbs, New Mexico with a beaming Demi after she presented her with a player's card. Referring to the previous post of Dec 5, Demi risks being called a hypocrite after blogging about the evils of gambling!

Earlier in the day, Demi was nearly denied a library card from the Hobbs Public library. The application process for the library included a utility bill and ID which was not sufficient. A local reference was also a requirement! Demi was tempted to try & use her celebrity status but it was not a sure thing. She managed to find a local's #. Demi was overheard commenting that Hobbs has the greatest respect for books of all her libraries she holds cards from; Las Vegas, Newport Beach, Co. of Orange and Mason Co.

Thursday, January 25, 2007


As predicted, New Mexico appears to be the next state to have vehicles wrapped with plastic wrap. This truck parked at the Zia Park Casino & Racetrack was a victim of the disturbing trend. On a day when the temperture was only 20 degrees faranheit, this question is raised; "Who in their right mind would brave such wintery conditions for a practical joke?

Saturday, January 13, 2007


As predicted, the trend mentioned in the last post has migrated east. First stop is near Las Vegas where you are the first to view this phenomonen or evidence, depending on your world view. Where will it emerge next?

Monday, January 08, 2007


Southern California has always been a leader when it comes to trends. The latest was spotted by daughter Jillz at Newport Beach's Fashion Island. She reports seeing a vehicle completely wrapped in plastic wrap. Consider the beauty of this prank! No damage to the car but one is unable to even open the door. Since I was in town for the OC marathon, I visited a valet at the mall and he agreed to allow me to wrap a car for a photo op. His good judgment prevailed by the time I returned with the roll and he changed his mind. Didn't want to be in the OC Jail and risk missing the marathon so I repressed the urge.

It is expected that this trend will be spreading across the country, probably first to Las Vegas followed by New Mexico. To quote a pilot friend, "What's the fastest way to spread any news? TELEGRAPH! TELEPHONE! TELL A FLIGHT ATTENDANT!" Because of the "jumpseat wireless", you may see it in your own community before I get around to accomplishing the task and posting the picture.

Pictured here are a trio of Orange County marathon (5K) participants. Woman on the far left (J.P.) set a personal record, "bad ass" in the middle was surprised by her time and D.K. on the right remarked that this 5K (which is the last 3.1 of the 26.2 event) felt as difficult this year as last year when she did the entire distance.