HELP!!! Hollywood Calls On A Former Flight Attendant's Classroom!

Paramount Pictures is about to release a new film based on the best selling novel, "The Kiterunner" by  Khaled Hosseini.  They are holding a classroom competition which requires adding your email to join the online club.  A friend of this blog (educator, artist and former flight attendant)  is currently the team captain in the #1 spot.  The "Showgirl Demi" photo on the left sidebar is her contribution and it would be much appreciated if any of you readers would join her club and help keep her classroom in the top spot!  Click on the link at the top of this blog (just above the date Nov 17) that says "Reading Runners" and you can help out this Las Vegas classroom.   If you would like to read this outstanding novel, it is available from the Amazon link on the sidebar. 

Thank you and GO READING RUNNERS!!!

Update on 1-1-09 

My friend has a new website and her project revenues are donated to help save Orangutans. She has talent and is working to benefit a great cause. I have replaced the club website with her personal one of  http://www.rebeccareeder.com  Check it out!

Airplane Flashbacks: "You have something on your nose."

Revealed here is a self portrait that leaves nothing to the imagination. It is a disgusting vision, that is certain. You may wonder why a woman would want to project such an image and how she has been able to maintain employment when you learn she has been seen in uniform wearing a similar decoration on her nose.


It is actually a therapeutic technique I have developed known as "Booger Therapy". I have used this effectively with males of all ages who are fearsome fliers. The booger is actually a piece of lime. Sometimes, I'll fall back on it out of boredom (mine or passengers) because it always causes somewhat of an uproar. Those that get the biggest kick out of this are boys in the age range of 5 to 12. I'll show them the trick and let them spring it on the unsuspecting.

There was once a precocious boy of about 10, traveling with his mother in first class to Maui. He was not having a good flight,so I showed him the joke.  I asked the boy if he was going to try it on his mother. His reply "It would be a lot funnier if you did it." I thought the better of it but he would not let up. Toward the end of the flight I relented and when they left the mother said it was the best flight she ever had because her son had such a fun time.
DISCLAIMER: If any of my readers are probationary flight attendants, I would wait until you are on the line for 6 months before you attempt it because it is certainly not management sanctioned.

Over many years, I have conducted a study using the lime booger. Flight attendants, who are not lime-booger savvy will say "You have something on your nose" to warn you not to walk out in the aisle. When I have visited the cockpit, male pilots will say NOTHING! Female pilots will usually warn me using the subtle "something on the nose" approach but if all the pilots are men, not a word! I have asked them the reason and they usually clam up. Never have been able to understand the reason for this.

Update as of June 2011... Booger therapy does not convey a professional image of authority that is needed in today's world so it was grounded some time ago. You may see it reappear in some earthbound restaurant locations.

HOBBS COULD HAVE BEEN A CONTENDER!

In the trading game of oneredpaperclip, which became an internet sensation, Hobbs lost out to a small Canadian town of Kipling. There is no doubt in my mind that the folks of Hobbs would have rallied in some kind of similiar competition had the backstory been public knowledge. When the offer was first presented to Kyle, he did not immediately respond so I contacted Stone Phillips of NBC, who had interviewed Kyle about the game. It was then that I discovered the Hobbs house was one of several offers and Kyle was taking time attempting to sort out everything. A lot of people became inspired by the simple and fun story. Now Kyle is the author of a book and is on tour. I am hopeful he will visit our town and see what he passed up!

The Offer: One Two Bedroom House for One Movie Role

Greetings from Hobbs, New Mexico, site of the Lea County Cowboy Museum
and your new home, if you accept my offer...Today, the city of Hobbs
unveiled the city's new slogan, "It All Happens Here," so apparently,
it does all happen here.

In trade for "One Movie Role", you will receive the free and clear deed
to "One 2 Bedroom House" in Hobbs, New Mexico.

The house, which is undergoing renovation in the heart of Hobbs, is on
S. Dalmont St. It's a diamond (not quite yet out of the rough) that is
only 15 minutes from Lea County Airport served by Mesa Airlines. Lea
County Airport will begin complete renovation in October of this year.

The people here are Hobbs greatest asset. Having traveled worldwide in
my job as a flight attendant, I can honestly say I have not encountered
a kinder, more welcoming and civic-minded group of folks than the
Hobbsans.

I acquired "One 2 Bedroom House" when I was looking for an affordable
yet desirable community in which to relocate. The airline I have been
employed by for 21 years, declared bankruptcy and my pension was lost.

Recently having been inspired by a library book; 'Life 2.0' by Rich
Karlgaard, I was seeking a community that matched the parameters
mentioned by the author but undiscovered by most of the world. Hobbs is
clearly a growing community with strong employment and in the midst of
a street beautification project 2 blocks from "One 2 bedroom House".

An aficionado of Ebay, I discovered the house and community when it was
listed for sale by a bail bondsman from Carlsbad, New Mexico. I talked
to him about the circumstance since I was not entirely comfortable with
the situation. He allayed my fears and as the winning bidder, my
friends now call me the land baroness. They have suggested I form an
alliance with Donald Trump.

As a subscriber to the local newspaper, the Hobbs News Sun, I read of
the community's efforts to help the victims of Hurricane Katrina. I
became acquainted with one of the community's volunteers, who
generously shared her contacts with me and put me in touch with other
local citizens who have been so helpful, even though I am a complete
outsider.

Although I am emotionally attached to this community, my airline has
now emerged from bankruptcy and since I still enjoy my job, the timing
for my relocation is no longer imminent. While on a layover in Sydney,
Australia, I learned of Kyle MacDonald and his creative trading of "One
Red Paperclip" so I considered the possibility of my house in Hobbs
fulfilling Kyle MacDonald's ultimate quest, should the right trade be
ventured.

"One Movie Role" will go to a deserving young woman (who happens to be
my daughter) named Jillian "Jillz" Trevors. Since at least the age of
5, she has declared her intention to have a life on the silver screen.
She has performed and taken various classes for the last 12 years. As
her mother, I have expressed concerns about the down side to this dream
but it is clearly her passion. I trust her level of maturity and have
heard how tough it is to get a break in the movie business.

Acceptance of this offer will rescue "Jillz" from relocation (when not
at school) to Hobbs. Her other true love, besides acting, is for Julian
"Julz". They were high school sweethearts and now attend college
together in Santa Barbara. Julz' only passion greater than his love of
Jillz, is for surfing and Hobbs is a long way from the ocean.

Just for clarification, the name Demi Kutcher is an identity I used for
an Academy Awards themed party. Everyone was supposed to impersonate a
celebrity and I chose Demi since passengers sometimes tell me I bear a
striking resemblance to Demi Moore. It could be that the lights were
low or the comments motivated in an effort to receive a free drink.
Just for the record, I am a HUGE fan of Corbin Bernsen.
________________________________________________________________________

The Saga, Part 2: The Layover in Sydney That Resulted In An Obsession With A Small Metal Office Supply

Here is a picture taken out the window of Door 2R of a 747-400 by flight attendant Robert Gallant of beautiful Sydney, one of the world's grand cities.

About a year and a half ago, I was in a hotel room in Sydney. It was early morning and I turned on the television and was watching the Australian version of the Today show. Kyle MacDonald was being interviewed and spoke of his intention to trade a red paperclip for bigger and better things until he eventually traded up to a house. His first trade was for a fish pen and at the time of the interview, he was up to a snowmobile. It occured to me that I could fulfill his dream. I started following his blog, oneredpaperclip.com and became hooked by the sheer fun of the crazy idea. There were lots of skeptics about Kyle's ability to accomplish the task. I was never one of them and was poised to offer up my Ebay house in Hobbs, NM if the right trade was offered. When I heard about a movie role, paid and credited complete with a SAG card; I knew it was something worth consideration. In spite of using a movie star alias, I personally do not aspire to such fame. My daughter has more talent and ambition in that area but when I presented the idea to her, she thought it might be percieved as paying for a role and she was skeptical. When we had a conversation with Kyle, she had a change of heart. He told us he wanted to make sure whoever got the role had a sincere interest. He announced that he wanted to complete the trade within one year. So 2 weeks before that year was up, I made the following offer which you can read in the next post.

The Saga, Part 1: "How Did You End Up In Hobbs?"

This is the question I am asked everytime I meet someone new. The answer is that I bought a house on Ebay that was located here. A listing was posted by a bailbondsman from Carlsbad and having never heard of an entire house for sale for $27,500, it seemed like a bargain. I searched on the internet and found that there were plans for a casino and racetrack and I decided to go for it and put in my bid. It was 2 years ago when I first drove to Hobbs to inspect my purchase. A tiny bit of buyer's remorse sat in as I stepped through a missing window and first toured the home. That remorse faded away and I've met the most welcoming group of people that live in this town. Even so, at one point, I thought I may have gotten in over my head since there are a lot of needed repairs and not as much available time as I would like to devote to the project. A opportunity nearly changed all that...

Airplane Flashbacks: DO YOU HAVE A FORBES MAGAZINE?

Flying out of Chicago (ORD) as a reserve, sometime in the early 80's, I was on a 727 working a Coach aisle position to Omaha, Nebraska. We served meals on domestic flights in those days and the service was finished. I was securing the galley in preparation for landing. A call light illuminates and I make my way to seat 15D where a gentleman asks me "Do you have a Forbes magazine?" (Before it was determined that a lot of jet fuel could be saved by removing them due to the weight, we used to have a selection of magazines.) I grabbed a Forbes and returned to the passenger. He said "Look at the cover". I asked "What about the cover?" Pictured was Bill Gates. "Look at Mr. 15C". In 15C, was a sleeping Bill Gates with his mouth wide open and body sprawled, contorted in the space. I could not contain myself and broke into a gut wrenching laugh along with everyone around. Mr. Gates slept soundly through the commotion. Mr. 15C said "Just wanted to see the look on your face!". I asked him why they were flying Coach and he told me it was the company policy and they always flew coach.